For as long as I remember I had a severe fear of dying. The thought came into my mind often and it made me physically ill every time. Right after graduating high school (almost 10 years ago) I had told my mom I was wanting something bigger to believe in. I found myself knee deep in the college lifestyle; drinking and partying a lot, smoking daily, and focused on boys. During that time, I started to love the idea and meaning of hamsa hands; I had all sorts of jewelry, room decor, and even got a big ole tattoo of one right after I turned 18. One time when I visited home, I saw my mom had put a Bible on my bed. I remember laughing and thinking it was a joke that she got that for me with the lifestyle I was living.

Fast forward two years, I was in an extremely dark place mentally. I was depressed and addicted to smoking weed, so much so, that I stopped going to class and ended up dropping out of college.

I started promoting wellness products online with a faith based company. And truthfully, I ignored the faith part of it for the first couple of years. It wasn’t until 2019 that I started to lean in to God more; I started watching church online, I was listening to different pastors and preachers on YouTube and podcasts, and I started reading self help books with a faith approach. During that time I also became close friends with someone who was really diving in to devoting her whole life to Jesus Christ.

I started reading devotionals.

I moved to Florida and started partying a lot again. I was getting blacked out often and I had gotten physically dragged out of a bar by a bouncer. During this season I also got into my first (and hopefully last) car accident and my vehicle was totaled. I blacked out on impact, but something in me allowed me to slam on my breaks in the last second before smashing into a building on my drivers side (a literal miracle!!!!).

And then I got pregnant, while I was single.

That was the darkest season of my entire life. I had never felt so low, so dark, so worthless, so humiliated, so ashamed, so angry, and so broken. That season felt like it lasted an eternity.

I had my son December of 2021, I bought my first Bible January 2023, and I officially started reading the word for the first time in my life February 2023.

Things got even harder. My eyes were now open to the darkness I had been living in. I was being convicted left and right on things I spent years doing. My eyes were open to certain behaviors and treatments I had spent my whole life accepting that weren’t the way I should be treated or loved. There were friendships, relationships, and careers that I had to walk away from while fighting for my life against my flesh in order to be obedient to God.

In February 2024 I got baptized and publicly declared my faith and my commitment to God. PRAISE JESUS!!!!

The way my life did a complete 180 in the matter of months is a miracle and a testament to God in itself!!!!

I am new. I am different. I’m kinder. I’m more patient. I carry a different light about me. Strangers speak to me often now because I’m just more approachable. I’m more forgiving. I am so much more careful about the words I speak. I have learned to give grace to others. I get to serve and lead at church. I’m more grateful about every little thing. My baby knows about Jesus!!!!

The person I am today is because of the grace and glory of God. I have seen the way the Lord can work in those far from Him and I am passionate and excited about spreading the word through Embrace His Grace to other sinners like me.